At least once a year, the Daily Mail reels out a variation-on-a-theme survey on the life events that give adults most stress. In 2015-16 I managed to tick a few off: death (close family member), divorce (close family member), moving house (of deceased close family member), separation (me) and job loss (also me, at the same time as the separation; I kept the coffee machine, he kept the business – to be fair it was his in the first place, the business, not the coffee machine). I considered various coping mechanisms from dying my hair pink (new life new me!) to drowning in a barrel of vodka (“poor m,e my laife is over, i will vdie old and lonely with jusjt cats for company” thanks Drunk Post Translator) but then someone mentioned penguins. Yes penguins. And everything changed.